Posts Tagged ‘Paul & Jan Crouch’

This was posted on my FB.  It was intended as a Joke; a bit of sarcasm if you like; however there are some interesting points here.  TBN as a channel has been at the forefront of a lot of strange doctrines never mind strange teachers.

The Trinity Broadcasting Network is it Biblical Right?    by Michael Houke

Founders and co-leaders Paul and Jan Crouch
You mean the Trinity Broadcasting Network? Nah! You’re kidding me right? They
stopped dabbling in that doctrinal doo doo years ago. They now have Holy Ghost
machine guns to mow down their distracters. Here is a list of what makes them
so wonderfully and cheerfully made Christians.

1. They are little gods, little “g”.

2. They have water fights with Jesus. (In heaven of course).

3. They raise the dead from their caskets.

4. They talk to the dead and pray with them at their gravesites.

5. They no longer sin.

6. They have nine (9) count them nine God heads in their trinity. (We have only

7. They have a Rolls Royce Kind of Faith! (What do we have a Neon)?

8. They have holy water from a river in Russia. (Do You)?

9. They kick ladies in their heads.

10. They laugh their tails off in the name of Jesus.

11. They prophesize in the name of Jesus.

12. They need only be 33% accurate to be a prophet of God. (They set their own

13. They know that Jesus suffered in Hell! He got his tail kicked!

14. They know that God is the biggest loser in the Bible.

15. They heal the sick and wounded by a simple touch.

But wait there’s more!!

16. They talk money into their wallets.

17. They too cast out demons! Just Like Jesus!

18. They get special revelations from God all the time.

19. They roar like Lions for Jesus

20. They do the chicken Walk for Jesus.

21. They allow animals to be saved! (Squirrels too)

22. They endorse the Lovely Masonic Lodge.

23. They rub elbows with the fun guys from the Shriners!

24. They get down on Azuza Street with the best of them.

25. They do away with Heresy hunters. Be Gone They say!

26. They preach while lying on their backs. (Do we? And without a Bible! Top

27. They have a special anointing from God.

28. They have preachers riding in first class and coach!

29. They know Jesus was handling big money!! (ask any of them)

30. Jesus and the Apostles stayed at the finest establishments while on tour.
(And so do they)

31. Jesus was handling big money. (And so do they)

32. Jesus wore designer robes. (And so do they)

33. The Apostles spoke in supernatural tongues. (And so do they)

34. Jesus cast out Demons. (And so do they)

35. They can get a whole congregation speaking in tongues all at once. (Wow
even Jesus and the Apostles couldn’t do that)

36. And last but not least, they have done away with the trinity. They didn’t
need it after all.

Now exactly why do they call it the Trinity Broadcasting Network?

Well just how good is all that. If only the rest of us could receive their
special anointing!! Why, we too could be on the Trinity Broadcasting Network
Proclaiming the Doctrine of Demons just like they do!! Can you see what we are
missing? We are letting our best life now slip right out of our hands, right
before our very own eyes. But it is never too late. Get some of that Russian
river water from Peter Popoff and drink it daily. Miracles and all the promises
of the Bible will come your way. Or get some trinklets from Marilyn Hickey they
will help you get the anointing and then you can talk money into your wallet. I
hear Oral Roberts is still offering prayer hankies. There is much more you can
do, just watch the show and see for yourself.

Have a blessed life now!!

Michael Houke

“The parade of guests who are featured on Paul and Jan Crouch’s TBN programming runs the gamut from the serious, sound Christian thinkers and ministers to the superficial, silly, and outright heretical. How many viewers can tell the difference? How many care to try? Spiritual gullibility is widespread throughout out culture, of course, but the Word-Faith movement is part of the problem, not part of the solution(“The Word-Faith Controversy” by Robert M. Bowman Jr.)

Quotes Who said this?      answer at the end.

He [God] doesn’t even draw a distinction between Himself and us. You know what else that’s settled, then, tonight? This hue and cry and controversy that has been spawned by the Devil to try and bring dissension within the body of Christ that we are gods. I am a little god! I have His name. I’m one with Him.  I’m in covenant relation. I am a little god! Critics, be gone! (Praise The Lord, July 7, 1986)

 2 Cor 11: 13 For such men are false apostles, deceitful workmen, masquerading as apostles of Christ…

Ecumenicalism may be good for buisness but it is not good for the gospel !

“On October 17 [1989], Paul and Jan Crouch welcomed three Catholics to their Praise the Lord program: two
priests and a woman lay leader. Paul displayed his usual naïveté and incredible ignorance of theology by smoothing over any differences between Protestants and Catholics as ‘simply matters of semantics.’ In his eager embrace of Transubstantiation, a heresy so great that thousands died at the stake rather than accept it, he declared: ‘Well, we [Protestants] believe the same thing. So you see one of these things that has divided us all of these years [Transubstantiation] shouldn’t have divided us all along because we were really meaning the same thing but just saying it a little differently. … I [am] eradicating the word Protestant even out of my vocabulary. … I’m not protesting anything anymore … it is … time for Catholics and non-Catholics to come together as one in the Spirit and one in the Lord.’ But Catholics have a different gospel of salvation by works and ritual through the essential mediation of that Church.”


This is dated news, but it is timely and relevant, all the same. The charismatic movement and its experience- and emotion-based ecumenicism is one of the adhesives of end-times apostasy. Another is Contemporary Christian Music. It is a unifying factor that is not founded on sound doctrine. One of the great sins and errors of modern evangelicalism is its silence in the face of such things. How many influential evangelicals have reproved Paul Crouch and TBN publicly? Charles Swindoll is typical. He says that though he disagrees with charismatic theology, he doesn’t “shoot great volleys of theological artillery” at them (Grace Awakening, p. 188). This is inaccurate and a silly statement. Reproving sin and heresy is not “shooting” people. It is an act of love for God and His truth and it is an act of compassion toward those who are being led astray. We are commanded to “earnestly contend for the faith once delivered to the saints” (Jude 3). Spiritual pacifism and reproving sin and error in generalities might broaden your ministry and support base, but it won’t get the job done for full-orbed truth in this dark world

 There can be NO doubt that TBN and its hosts Paul and Jan Crouch have served the cause of promoting ecumenicalism and false teaching for longer than most TV channels.  The fact that they may occasionaly have the odd sound speaking does not outway the vast majority of the false that appear on their TV stations.

Eph 4: 14 That we [henceforth] be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, [and] cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive;

 TBN is nothing more than a tree swaying in the wind.  Being swayed in whatever direction the wind is blowing.  Swayed by whatever theological and emotional presentation that passes.  Having no solid foundation and no anchor to keep them sound, and in the end they will grasp whatever is floating passed them.   This is not the basic for eternity.

Answer to the quote is : Paul Crouch.